Thinking too much

God is at work.
I can feel it, sense it, smell it, taste it.
He is working in our lives and the lives of those around us who are willing to just set down their own goals and visions of their lives and let God take hold for a little bit. I have plans for my life. Most of them involve things like money in the bank, lots of extra spending cash, and having kids out of the house and off to school. You know, plans to have a safe and happy little life here in Iowa.
But..
God's plans are different.
About three years ago, I heard a wonderful story at Hearts @ Home about a woman who adopted some boys from Liberia. I was crying by the end. I think everyone was. I felt God tugging on me. But that is crazy, since I was pregnant (Imagine that!!) So I came back to my safe house and lived my safe life. I talked with Lonnie about adoption off and on, and the answer that I got was maybe, sometime, in the distant future. It was very obvious that he was just humoring me.
During my last pregnancy, I was hearing God even more. I don't know if Lonnie was hearing God too, or just giving in to me. He was a little more willing to talk about it. Told me I could start looking into it.
Lonnie went to Guatemala in February. My prayer while he was there was that he would be able to look through all of the poverty, crime, and hardships and see people. Really see people, as God sees them. Well, he did. Now he is on board with me. (slow but definitely worth the wait :) )
We are not able to do anything official right now, since we don't have jobs and that is kind of a requirement. But we are praying and trying to listen to God's voice and His will for us. We are trying to be able to find an area of the world that we feel called to.

So now, with this going on, I am feeling very challenged by God. I am being called into account about several areas of my life.
What type of mom does God want me to be?
What does it look like in my house to be doing God's will?
Once made aware of the need in various parts of the world, and here at home, what am I going to do about it?
Am I going to stay safe in my house?
Or go recklessly out and DO something about it?

Let me tell you, my head is a very busy place these days.
I feel like God is pointing out to me that I have used Lonnie as an excuse for my inactivity for a very long time. But now I don't have that excuse, and I have to actually put feet on my thoughts, or they are completely useless. But how do I do all of that and still be the wife, mom, daughter, friend, neighbor that I need to be and not leave anyone out?

This post may seem to be all over the place, I needed to get some thought out of my head, maybe just to make room for other.